By Mwambazi Lawrence
Believe me when I say this year’s Shell V-Power Pearl of Africa Uganda Rally is not going to be your usual tyre-screeching, dust-blasting affair. No, no, no. This year, it’s spiritual. It’s biblical. It’s divine! Because as we continue to wait for the long-anticipated return of Jesus Christ, guess what? Heaven decided to send an advance party. A teaser. A holy preview. And lo and behold, the angel in question is none other than Susan “Super Lady” Muwonge!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves! By the close of entries last evening, our very own Super Lady had resurrected her rally career after nearly seven years of silence that had fans sobbing into their rally flags. If this was a Marvel movie, this would be Susan’s Infinity War comeback except instead of a shield, she’s armed with a Subaru Impreza N12B and a co-driver who has seen more pace notes than your grandma has rosaries Musa Nsubuga!
And they’re not here to make friends. Oh no, they’re here to cause chaos and destruction. Picture a tornado dressed in blue lime green livery with a co-driver shouting “Left 3!” as if he’s calling for backup from the Avengers. That’s what we’re expecting.
Susan has not just signed up she’s declared war. The kind of war where gears scream, engines roar, and grown men cry when they see her in their rearview mirror. And don’t even think this is some “celebrity comeback” for PR stunts Susan is coming to defend the national rallying pride like a lioness whose cubs have been touched by a foreign hyena.
The foreign invasion is real, folks. Drivers from across borders are coming with fancy machines, shiny helmets, and confusing accents. But we, as Uganda, have Susan. And trust me, we’re good.
So polish your vuvuzelas, iron your rally t-shirts, and prepare to scream like you’ve seen a ghost—because when Susan Muwonge hits the stages, even the dust parts like Moses and the Red Sea.
Super Lady is back. And heaven help anyone who tries to stand in her way.
